Only if I'm the same
by DZoe
Summary: Just a little story about Sookie and Eric, after being married for 15 years. I don't own any of these characters, they all belong to Mrs. Charlaine Harris, so don't sue me, I only own a car and a cat :o


**Only if I'm the same**

Don't ever turn me.

She told me a thousand times. And every time I thought to my self, You would make an excellent vampire.

Until she got ill. Cancer had spread to her lungs, and she was gasping for air, trying to breath. Two rounds of chemo and 4 years in remission. Until now. She started to loose weight, and to feel tired all the time. Her scent changed, that hit me. Something was wrong. After a ton of arguing she gave up, and went to see Dr. Ludwig. And my hunch was confirm, the cancer was back with a vengeance.

And it hit her, hard. She just said, "I can't do this anymore, not now, Eric. No more chemo, no more radiation, if this is my time, as God is my witness, I will let go". I just looked at her, her stare was determined, she was just letting herself go. Not even trying other options (other options as having my blood and being turned). She looked at me, and told me "Sweetie is my time to go, is ok I know where I'm going" And that did it, I once again brought it up,

"Lover we have an option"

"Turning me is not an option Eric Northam"

That was my cue. Every time she used my last name it was synonymous of End of discussion. But is not the same when you are at the verge of death. She looked at me, gasping for air, trying to hold on. Until she realized, how painful it was for me to see her die and be without her. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't block the bond, my sorrow was greater every day. I hold on to her hand, and closed my eyes, and remember the first time I saw her walk in. With the white dress and red flowers. I remembered when the maenad attack her, it was then I first tasted her blood. I was intoxicated with it. I had to control myself back then. I remember every day I spent in her house after I lost my memory, how tender she was. Even though, I was lost (and dumb), she wasn't scared. She washed my feet and treated with love and devotion.

But now, she was my wife, she was mine, 15 years together, I saw how she dealt with life, how hard she fought for us in the supe word to be treated as equals. She gave herself to me, and join me to be as one until dead do us apart. But this, I wasn't ready to deal with. She was dying, right before my eyes.

She looked at me, and said "Only if you promise that my love for you will never change, only if besides being vampire, I will not loose myself, I will be me, promise me that, and I'll let you turn me"

I looked at her, keenly, and ask her; "Are you sure Lover"

"Yes, Yes Eric Northman, I am"

It was only 3 hours before dawn. Right before the day, she got a second wind. We made all the arrangements, so we didn't have any issues with her body. She fasted for 2 days prior to the change, cut her hair, did her nails and all the stuff girls do right before a special event. Then she told me, "I'm ready".

I asked her to wake up early that day, told her to bathe with the sun, to look at the sky and enjoy her last day as a human being. And she did as told. She took the time to call al her friends and tell them the decision she took. I was told later, she look as she has never had cancer.

When I woke, she was waiting for me, I smelled her skin, and the sun was impregnated in every inch of her body, she looked at me, and I realized even though she was going to be turned her human days were not much.

I hold her and kiss her. We made love like it was the last time. Being inside her always made me feel like I was human again. We took a shower, after, not without a very intense love making, and we began.

I bite her neck, and fed from her, she just hold on to me, and I felt her slipping away, I took her face at look at her, she was so weak, but somehow she just got the strength and told me "Now my love". I bite my wrist and started to feed her. Then she just left.

I felted like my un beating heart was torn in pieces. I cried like she was dying her final death, suddenly, her scent changed, and the bond grew stronger.

I fell asleep with her in my arms, not waking up until she woke.

"Eric", she screamed my name and I was up.

She just looked at me, they were no worlds to describe the peace I felted from her. She smiled and said, "So this is how it feels like being dead"

We left the room, Pam was waiting for us, she hold her and told her 'Welcome to the supe world sister'. It was hard to find her blood taste, but she settled for O neg, warm as in a cup of morning coffee. And she fed for the first time.

4 months after she was turned we were outside sit in the porch, she took my hand and said:

"Dr. Ludwig called me 4 days ago, remember the tests she runned before, according to those I had 2 to 4 months left to live. She heard I decided to get turned, and called me, Eric I was going to die the next week or so, after we planned my turning. I didn't knew it by then. I saw you holding my hand that night, I remember the first time I saw you sitting in your throne in Fangtasia. I remember the time you fooled me into sucking a bullet out of you. I remember the orgy, and the way I felted when you told me to yield to you. Eric I remember our wedding when you told me, I may be dead lover, but this is till death do us part. I felted your pain and sadness for me, that did it. I was selfish, I had the key in my hands to be with you for ever. I'm glad I took the key, I'm to be a vampire"

Time went by, almost all her friends and family were dead. We dealt with all the vampire bullshit, (as she often referred to vampire politics). We decided to take a little vacation from all the rush and vampire bullshit/politics. I was now king of the Louisiana Area. So I had the advantage to play with my agenda. So we left to Germany. Walking through the Black Forrest, I just looked at her, she still had a spark, the one I saw when we first met. Her skin kept that glow of her. And sometimes I felted like I could still smell the sun in her.

"Eric, I'm glad you turned me, I have to say I still miss the morning sun, but I couldn't bear to think my life without you by my side"

"I'm glad you are two Lover, 80 years living dead with you, and it still feels like the first time"


End file.
